Hip Hop You Don't Stop the Clock

I never have considered myself a shopper. Perhaps all hopes of me thriving in the department store world were ruined in my childhood, when I would shop with ALL the women in my family (this number could get as high as 10 women at one time). We would start in one store, find the PERFECT necklace...but have to check every other store in the mall to make sure the first one we discovered was indeed the best. After much deliberation, everyone offering their opinions (and me impatiently tugging at my mom's arm to leave and get me the tasty treat I was promised if I was good and did NOT complain on our marathon shopping trip), we invariably ended up going back to the first store with the first perfect necklace, triumphantly buying what we were all sure was the best necklace in all the land.

To make matters worse, I didn't have a choice in going shopping in the first place. In my family, you have to understand one thing....DO NOT LEAVE THE HERD/AMOEBA/CLAN/PACK (or any other nickname we have received over the years)! My immediate and extended family never noticed this about our family until outsiders started marrying in. It was soon pointed out to us that we are, in fact, the One Room Family...and partially crazy. We were dubbed this name due to the fact that when we are all together, no matter how many of us there are, we all stay in the same room the whole time. Clearly this made sense to all of us, we only got to see each other for special occasions, so we soaked up that time by snuggling up in one room, anyone who left the room must was crazy, not us. For, you see, who wouldn't want to hang out in a living room with 23 other people, swapping stories and eating tasty kibble? We would sometimes get wild, splitting up the men and women. The women would obviously go shopping and the men would smartly decline to stay home and watch football, which was never encouraged when the women were home. So you see, I did not have a choice in whether I went or not, which made the beating of trudging from store to store when I knew we had already found "THE" necklace even more painful.

All this to say, today good people, I am going shopping. And not because I have to, but because I want to. The unfortunate thing is this: Now that I have achieved my desire to shop, my shopping opportunities are more than lackluster....they are appalling. The highlight of my trip will be Target (which is always magical) and a new store called Junk Warehouse....my family would be ashamed. But I will try to make them proud by fighting my survival instinct to impulsively purchase the first thing I see, sparing myself and good trudge. I will attempt to meander, looking each and every article in the entire store over to ensure I am making a well-informed decision. However, I make no promises.

Lessons Learned

I dread Monday's more than I dread getting the yearly stomach flu - I firmly believe that Monday's have it out for me. I would love to be friends with Monday, but I don't think Monday wants to be friends with me. The following lessons were learned on this particular Monday - but forewarning, dear readers, what you are about to read is not for the faint of heart.....

- Before eating bread, always - and I do mean ALWAYS - check to see if there are any green colonies of mold sprouting up, unwelcome and unashamed. It's best to check for such visitors before eating your sandwich, rather than halfway through it.

- When in your office or work space and a spider gracefully and grand-fully floats down from the abyss to stare menacingly into your face as if to say "Bring it, awkward pale girl", the wise decision would be to calmly and quietly slay the intruder with your flip flops, rather than draw undesired attention to yourself by leaping from your chair and squeaking like a dog's chew toy, tripping over your chair in the process.

- When playing with a child, and you see their face scrunch up you can assume that a) they are pooping, b) they are tooting, or c)they are about to sneeze. On multiple choice tests, my theory has always been "when in doubt, choose "c"". I have decided to apply this to my daily life due to the fact that I was not just sprinkled, but water hosed with kiddie-snot all over my arms and face. I'm telling you, good people, when you see the tell-tale face scrunch, take cover under everything and anything!!!!!!!

- When going to the gym, thinking to yourself "I may have lost my appetite, pride, and hygiene today, but by George, I will NOT loose the battle of the bulge!" make sure you check the condition of the shorts you have decided to run in. You may have a hole in a most inconvenient area, exposing your bootylicious glory to your fellow gym-mates. Dang it.

As you can see, I have every good reason to crawl back into my bed, cover up my head, and wait until the day goes by. Oh well, as Anne would say "tomorrow is fresh, with no mistakes in it".

Pick and choose your battles

Recently James and I have had a new lady move in beneath us at our apartment complex. Until now, we have had minimal reason to complain about our humble abode. Sure our neighbors to the left deal weed and smoke weed on a daily basis, wafting it's tormenting aroma into our home. Sure our friendly neighbor downstairs calls me "baby girl" and talks to James about his days in a gang for hours, until I take pity on the poor fella and find some excuse to get him out of the conversation. But we don't complain, all minor dealings of living in an apartment complex. But there is one thing the Barcrofts don't tolerate, mess with our sleep and you mess with us! Our newest neighbor below has deemed the hours of 7:00-10:00 am on Saturday and Sunday mornings the ideal time to blast her bumpin' tunes, the bass shaking our floor. The first few times it happened, we simply attempted to ignore the pesky tunes. However, there is only so much a person can take before they explode. This morning, James reached his boiling point......

I had already been awakened at 7:00 to my unpleasant and uninvited alarm, so was up and decided I might as well start getting ready for church. As I was blowing my hair dry, I saw the door of our bedroom fly open, and there was James, standing there with the look of a man ready for battle. He stormed into our living room, placed our sub-woofer face down to the floor, and turned our bass up all the way. He blasted 2-3 songs before we finally heard our defeated neighbor finally turn down her music. James triumphantly declared "We have victory!" and proceeded to celebrate with a bowl of Honey'Oh's. We may pick and choose our battles, but the ones we choose, WE WILL WIN!

Top 10 Things I Revel Doing!

1. Going to Happy Hour at Sonic and getting a diet vanilla dr. pepper, light ice please.

2. Watching a movie I have seen a hundred time so that I can take a glorious nap while listening to it.

3. Going antique shopping with James and wishing we had enough money to buy more than the candy out of the quarter machine.

4. Spending time with family doing all kinds of nonsensical things and causing mayhem.

5. Shopping at Target, ALWAYS my fall back plan in a time of desperate boredom.

6. Baking some tasty kibble whilst wearing an apron and listening to some fine tunes.

7. Finding a fun group of crazys and playing games - boggle, spades, Clue, Life - but NEVER Monopoly or Risk. I'd rather stub my big toe 10 times in a row than play those games.

8. Thinking and planning wonderful vacations to exotic places that will probably never happen, hey a girl can dream, right? (and by exotic places I mean Disney World, Disney Land, Disney Cruise...those types of places)

9. Finding big words and figuring out how to use them....even though I'm never successful at it.

10. Going to see a movie at the theater and stuffing cheap candy from Wal-Mart into my purse, nothing beats the thrill of being sneaky.

A Day in the Life of a Social Worker

Wake up at 5:45, eat my massive bowl of cereal, and watch the weather report. Since I am in the office about 15% of the day and out in the "field" the other 85%, the weather plays a greater role in my life than I would like. 80% chance of rain....perfect.

6:50 Head out the door, mentally going over my appointments for the day.

7:15 arrive at work, gather my files for my visits - it usually ranges from 5-7 visits a day. Today I have 6, a pretty busy day. Collect the paperwork and resources I will need since this will probably be my only time in the office, and stuff all of these files/documents into my gigantic "walking office" as I like to call it. Better known as a big bag that is far too heavy for any normal human being to carry around all day, pulling their shoulder out of socket.

8:00 Head back out into rush hour traffic to my first visit, which happens to be one of my very favorite families. I do some physical therapy with the baby, and talk with mom about resources, providing her with some cheaper apartment options in her community since money has been tight.

8:45 Leave the visit, realizing it's now raining. Luckily, along with my bag full of toys (did I mention this is also a gigantic bag) and "walking office" I am toting an umbrella, hair catastrophe successfully avoided. However not so successfully avoided is the pile of dog poo I failed to notice...now smeared all over my car as I hurried to get in to save my mane. Goes to show you what vanity will do.

9:00-3:30 I continue with my visits in my poo smelling car, toting my bag of toys, "walking office", umbrella, and poop residue from home to home, gathering new smells along the way. I snag lunch in my car driving between visits, which is usually melted and gooey by the time I get to it. But all of it is worth it when I walk in and see the smiling face of the little toot I have come to see, always showering me with hugs, snot, sneezes, and love as I work to help improve their lives! I may come home in desperate need of a shower and a shoulder rub, but hearing a child finally say "more please" after months of speech therapy, seeing a child take their first steps after surgery, or helping a family put food on the table is more gratifying than I can say!

Happy Happenings!

So it's been a while since I posted on here...so here's whats been going on in the Barcroft household as of late......

My oldest sister (keep track of us people, there are four....can you name us all in birth order?) Cami is having a baby! Deven Lee Matthews is due February 21 and we are so excited to meet him! My parents, Meagan, Doug, James and I all drove down for his baby shower in January and he got so many precious gifts! I am sure they will be all the more cute with Deven in them!

James has started tutoring with a program called AVID and he LOVES it! He is still working on getting teaching certified so he can hopefully be Mr. Barcroft teaching extraordinaire in the fall. We are on the hunt for jackets with elbow patches, a swanky briefcase, and studious glasses so he can play the part properly.

At Christmas we toured California/Las Vegas/New Mexico/Arizona in a caravan fit for comedy, 2 cars and 9 people (one of whom was 7 months pregnant and another just recovering from knee replacement surgery, meaning she needed an entire seat to keep her knee stretched....or so she said, I'm not sure I was convinced). Just try to calculate all the bathroom and "stretch" stops, the number would shock you. We made many wonderful memories together!

And last, but possibly greatest of all, James and I got Netflix! I know we are rather pathetic and far behind with the times, but it uploads straight to his XBox 360 and we can watch anything we want! Needless to say we have imprisoned ourselves in our quaint apartment for hours on end taking advantage of our new free entertainment. So long redbox rental, we've moved up in the world.

Stay tuned, more adventures to come!

Treading New Territory

I have always been more of a baker (because sweet treats are more fun to eat), but I am slowly learning to enjoy the art of cooking a delicious meal....as long as it is quick and easy ha! So I have been gathering recipes from far and wide. One of my favorites so far for a cold and rainy day is from my mom, it is called 7 can soup. It is as easy as pie, and delicious to boot. Here is the recipe:

7 Can Soup

1 lb. browned beef

2 cans corn

1 can rotel

3 cans minestrone soup

1 can ranch beans

Put all the ingredients in your crock pot, and cook on low for 6-8 hours. Make some jiffy cornbread, because clearly it is the best, and your meal is complete!

You should try it, you won't regret it I promise. Feel free to leave me any recipes to try. However I promise you, if the directions are more than a paragraph long, I absolutely will not make it.